Welcome to the month of romance! Some people love it, some people don't. Some know what it is, some have long forgotten. Romance is the spirit of marriage. It is the spark, it is the passion that keeps the relationship fresh, on fire, and ever increasing.
Of course, for believers, the Song of Solomon is the pattern for romance between the husband and the wife. And I would venture to say, that ten years into your marriage, if you are not living in this awesome book, you're probably not living in romance!
Most couples, at the very beginning of their relationship, experienced some kind of passion, or feeling of romance. Yet, as the relationship goes on, for many, that all fades away. They may look back on that time and wish for those same feelings, only to dismiss the thought, reasoning that, "Well, you can't expect to have those same feelings... that was just because it was all new, etc etc..."
I tend to strongly disagree! On the contrary, with God, the God of life and increase, things grow, develop, and become greater! Those "feelings" for a spouse should be (and can be) even greater! Romance should be even more ecstatic! But a crucial lesson must be caught: Because at the very beginning, this infatuation may have just seemed to come out of the blue and hit you... you really didn't do anything to get it... it was just there... You didn't work it up. Just one day, all of a sudden, you found yourself really, really attracted to this person... and willing to do "anything it takes" to be with them... people then assume that there is nothing that you can do to control romance, or to develop it... it is a feeling that comes out of nowhere - out of one's control, and it is something that later leaves - out of one's control.
I think that this is a very false assumption. You can keep it if you want it! It can last a lifetime if you nurture it! If you work at it, romance and real romantic feelings should be many times greater that at the beginning!
Romance: you feel it, you experience it, but it is also something that you do!
Here are some new words that I have recently coined - you can discuss them with your spouse? "Introflirt" (think introvert). "Reverse-flirtation". Hmmmmm?
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5 comments:
Wow.. so true how in the beginning of a relationship..how those feelings just hit you where you are! As a marriage matures it DOES take work. It's easy to blame the spouse for the lack of romance but you have to ask yourself...am I doing what I can to "nuture" this marriage? It's awesome to see in the Bible, how God intended marriage to be - exciting & romantic.
It's with folly that one mistakenly believes Romance dies out as the last burning embers of a fire does naturally.
Surely, it is only he lack of attention to the natural needs of the flaming fire that cause the cold slow death of it!
Look to our Life's Manual{Bible} for our Father has left us wonderful instruction on this matter through out it.
Husbands, treat your sweet wives as our Lord does the church and avoid the "John Wayne Syndrom" always!
Wives, follow your husbands instruction not as a slave, but as the church does the wise instruction of our Lord!
Never belive that a marriage is supposed to be 50%/50% that concept is as foolish as human nature.
Put your spouses feelings and needs always first and surprise, oh wow, yours will be happily met!
Then after joyous years of unity one shall find happily that the two of you Love one another ever more so than the day you both said:"I DO!"
Brady
Not everyone is interested in, so called "romance" in their marriage... is there anything wrong with that?
I suppose that it ultimately comes down to what a husband and wife both agree upon and mutually desire. Though I would say, that this passion that often and potentially exists between two people, has been created by God as a genuine facet of the relationship. As well as the fact that these feelings, desires, etc have been wired into the human psyche and physiology.
when you finally find true love in a marraige you are willing to do anything for them. It is like Jesus said ..when you loose your own life, you will find it when you are willing to give up yourself for the other you will have joy unspeakable. These things I am working on , Ilike the Idea of drinking water from my own well,when you give up yourself for the needs of your spouse you feel a lot better and are able,to love a lot better, we have to learn to give up our time and spend more time wth the one we love so dearly.I used to have a real hard time with this but I am learning,also to communicate is a vital part, express your love to your wives... Men that is what we are all about.. We express our selves in other ways.. what about love and romance. and I am speaking to myself also, i need it Bad..We need to be enraptured by her Love and no one else, We need to love our wives as Christ love the Church and gave himself for her.For as husbands we are the head of the household as Christ is the head of the Church Not bossy demanding, But loving Caring true men of God. And that is what it Takes, men to be Christ like.
Bill
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